Refurbished

I'm tired of studying abnormal liver function tests (although I aught to study more). So I decided to do a little myspace cleaning and to my surprise, I found this fun little survey I did for a good friend of mine a few years ago (Thanks again, Mike!). I said to myself, "self, why not update the survey? I'm sure it's a better way to spend your time rather than reading up on the causes of elevated AST/ALT or going to sleep."

And so, here it is...the survey. Feel free to use it yourself in your blogs, should you feel inclined to do so.

Ahem...

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Med student loans...GRRRR!! GRRRR, I say!!!

2. Where's the best place to eat a romantic dinner?
The backyard/patio/garden.

3. Last time you puked from drinking?
October 12th, 2009, in my car on the way home after my friends' wedding (Don't worry I wasn't driving), then a rest stop somewhere in Connecticut, then another rest stop on the Jersey Turnpike (exit 7), then the Greyhound bus station in Mt. Laurel. That was a lot of puking...

4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar?
Never. I think I would cause much puking for others which would then cause me to puke...and the vicious cycle would never end!

5. Name of your first grade teacher?
Don't remember. I think I was sick for most of my 1st grade life.

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
OK, this is lame, but study or sleep...unfortunately I don't have the gumption to do either just yet.

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
As a little boy of 8 - a chef. As a young tyke of 11 - a comic book illustrator. As a strapping lad of 16 - a porn star. As young man of 18 - a porn star. As a quarter-lifer - a rock star. As a soon-to-be 30 year old - 15 lbs. lighter.

8. How many colleges did you attend?
One

9. Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now?
It was clean and because it was a hand-me-down from my brother-in-law.

10. GAS PRICES First thought?
I wish somebody got me a loaded gas card for Christmas.

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you...
Used to be Italy. Now, probably Austin, Texas or somewhere in the Northwest. No, I still don't feel like taking anybody with me. Sorry.

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
The first line treatment for scombroid poisoning is Benadryl or some other antihistamine. It's ok...you can Wikipedia it.

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
Should I wear a tie tomorrow?

15. Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex?
Hmmm...I suppose bikini shorts.

16. What errand/chore do you despise?
Cleaning my room. Always.

17. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer at an art gallery?
Depends on the art gallery.

18. Get up early or sleep in?
Sleep in.

19. What is your favorite cartoon character?
Normally I'd pick Bugs. But more recently, Peter Griffin...you can't help but laugh at Seth McFarlane's creation.

20. Favorite NON sexual thing to do at night with someone of the opposite sex?
Sit down cozy-like on the couch, crack open a few beers or wine, and watch sportscenter or the history channel or AMC until one of us nods off.

21. A secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing?
Jeff Buckley is my Elvis.

22. Are you planning on remaining in your current field?
For $150K worth of loans and 4 years of my life I'll never ever get back, EVER...maybe.

23. Do you see yourself married in the next five years?
Probably not. It seems to be the trend.

24. Your favorite lunch meat?
Pastrami or Salami...very close call.

25. What do you get every time you go into a WalMart?
Trident peppermint gum.

26. Beach or lake?
Depends on view ;)

27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual that was invented by people who died at 20?
Perhaps. But that should not justify divorce in today's society. FYI, the divorce rate has been in its lowest since the 1970s.

28. TV show you miss?
The Muppet Show

29. Favorite guilty pleasure
Haribo Gummy Bears

30. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
I don't think I have any. I just don't care about what anybody else thinks about my movie tastes.

31. What's your drink?
Coffee, Yerba Mate, Sam Adams Beer.

32. Cowboys or Indians?
Cowboys

33. Cops or Robbers?
Robbers

34. Do you cheer for the bad guy in a movie?
If he's a kick-ass bad guy.

35. What Hollywood star do you think resembles you best?
That kid that played Data in Goonies.

36. If you had to pick one, which cast member of Lost would you be?
HAHAHA! I'd like to think, John Locke.

37. What do you want when you are sick?
Lots of water and quiet.

38. Who from high school would you like to run into?
Still keep up with my high school friends. Don't really care for those who didn't talk to me.

39. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
88.5 WXPN

42. Norm or Cliff?
Cliff, of course!

43. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons?
Simpsons.

44. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Other than wasted time and heartache in those relationships, I don't think I've had a really bad mistake, thankfully.

45. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?
Lots of people sit across from me @ work. Most of them nurses and doctors. So far, they've been nice.

46. If you could get away with it, whom would you kill?
Next.

47. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Mel Brooks.

48. What famous person would you like to sleep with?
Julie Delpy or Anne Hathaway

49. Have you ever had to use a firearm?
No, but I'd like to know how to use one.

50. Last book you read?
A Farewell To Arms - E. Hemingway

51. Do you have a teddy bear?
Nope.

52. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
My grandpa's house.

53. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
Lots of places: Sequoia National Park, Yosemite, Napa Valley, The Playboy Mansion...

54. Number of texts in a day?
Depends on the occasion

55. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or relationship?
My career is pretty much set. I would say relationship, but I don't think I'm up for that mess right now anyways.

56. Favorite Winter Olympic Sport?
Lately, Snowboarding. Before, curling.

57. Pencil or pen?
Both

58. Bueller??? Bueller??? Bueller???
Note to self: Finish Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

59. How many jobs have you had?
Quite a few.

60. Are you where you thought you would be at this age?
Nope. Still working on it, tho.

Song of the Day: "Horchata" - Vampire Weekend

Wash, Rinse, Repeat

Ok, so this blog, so far has been my sounding board, more or less, for the trials and tribulations of the surreal (and I use the term very loosely) ride that is med school. In it, you will find my slip-shod attempt at chronicling almost all of bruhaha that goes on in my life amidst countless hours of medical minutiae, wrapped in a pretty $150K+ student loan bow. A good deal of it is bitching...and I feel pretty bad about it, despite this being my own blog. I wish I was a little more cheerful or witty when it came to matters of electronic journaling. I won't try it now, but I can at least make this one entry lean more towards the positive side.

It's been 3 years since I started the Manifesto and I feel that I need to highlight the good things that I have been a part of and experienced this whole time as opposed to dwelling some more on the countless crap that has piled high in my life. Here goes...

- I got into med school (it took me 3 years to get in, and it has taken 3 more for me to get scared shitless about the fact that I will be responsible for a stranger's health in a few months' time from now). YAY!

- I made it to 3rd year so far. OK...

- I made more friends. Always a plus.

- I learned who my real friends are.

- I've discovered many ways to remember the TCA cycle and even more ways to forget it.

- I got into (and out of) a relationship that made me realize that being single isn't so bad at all.

- I learned how to make peach cobbler.

- I got better at playing guitar (and ukelele)!

- I learned how to roll drum cigarettes.

- I stopped smoking.

- I have agreed to disagree with vodka because in a streetfight, vodka IS the street.

- I learned that I suck at public speaking. And that's ok.

- I realized the importance of owning my own domicile in the future.

- I learned the power of saying "I don't know."

- I learned that I look better bald.

- I got glasses (now I can work the Clark Kent angle)!

- I can do OMM now!

- I have memorized 4 Shakespeare soliloquies this past year (2 - Julius Ceasar, 1 - Richard III, 1 - Hamlet).

- I've learned to take things as they come, and with a grain of salt (lots of salt...and tequila).


And there you have it, mas o menos. I'm sure there are other quirky details that I have omitted...they will surface somehow, in time. Before the new year dawns on us, I figured I aught to do a little life accounting just to get the good vibes going for 2010. As always, I can only hope that whatever good comes my way, may it always outweigh the bad. And whatever mistakes I make, that I seriously learn from them, because I hate going through the same stupid shit more than twice.

Song of the day: "Heartbeat Radio" - Sondre Lerche

Onward...

OK...time for an update.
Finished Psychiatry about a month ago. Rotation itself was good and interesting. The doctor I was rotating with, despite giving me high marks in individual aspects of the rotation, only gave me a regular pass grade, and she had no bad critiques to back her grade. The messed up part about that was I couldn't even argue because her resident and another student were there as she discussed my grade with me.
Suck.
Next was geriatrics. Lots of old people. Lots of pathology, and kinda sad...lots of talk about dying, hospice, cancer...but lots of good too. I talked to a bunch of senior citizens at the long term care facility I was assigned to and they had wonderful stories to tell, the lot of them that could still talk and tell their stories. Lives long ago filled with stories of love and war, of family and loss, of friendships and everything else in between. And when I was at the hospital, I also learned a lot. And got pimped a lot. I hate getting pimped.
Which leads me to my latest rotation, Internal Medicine. Week one is finished. Quite busy, quite tiring, but good. The only annoying part about this rotation is getting up @ 5:30am to be at the hospital by 7am. Am not a morning person at all. Hopefully I get used to it by the time I do surgery. So far, not as much pimping as possible, but there's lots to learn and re-learn all the time, and it just feels like there's no break. 18 months from now, I graduate and start working as a doctor...scary.

For now, I'm just content sitting here in my room, blogging, watching the history channel, and enjoying the very snowy view outside.

Song of the day: "Wintersong" by Sarah McLachlan

Wake up!

Why is it that when I find a task in front of me, I somehow manage to expertly find MULTIPLE WAYS of dodging said work?

Cases in point:
1. Psychiatry paper - Due this coming Friday (or earlier).
2. Studying for the Psych final - Also this coming Friday.

I am dangerously low on motivation.

Send help.

And coffee.

ASAP.

Song of the day: "Electric Surfin' Go-Go" - Polysics

How do you feel?

2 weeks of vacay, Over. Was very good and very relaxing considering that I did a whole lot of nothing. Just vegged out @ the rents' house, then off to Boston for Chris and Al's wedding, which was amazing BTW, got sick on the way back (short story made long), and did some more nothing! Except sleep. I did catch up on beautiful sleep.

And now, back to the daily grind.

Next rotation: psychiatry.
I started this last Monday. So far, it's been very interesting, although the stories behind a good deal of these patients are downright sad and disturbing (abuses of all kinds starting from when they were young and all along the way, it seems they just collect all sorts of bad luck and trouble). You look at them and think "geez, how are they ever going to get out of their miserable holes?" And unfortunately a good deal of them don't. Either they catch a really bad disease and die miserably, OD on God knows what kind of drugs they do, get murdered, or commit suicide, or get into a horrific accident...or all of the above. And the scary part to me is that at one point in their lives, they were for the most part, like any normal person, and unfortunately something or things knocked them off their even keel. Makes me wonder how closely we skate along the borders of sanity and madness. A few bad days? A few drinks? A puff? A sniff? A snort? A word? A loss? An injury? An action? An impulse?

4 weeks of psych. Lots of talking, reading, drugs, and crazy.

GO ANGELS!

Song of the day: "Crazy (Gnarls Barkley Cover)" - Ray LaMontagne

What?

2nd rotation, Done! Radiology was a trip and a half! It started out slow and non-descript (following random techs and doctors, trying to figure out people's heads from their asses and backs, and boobs, and guts...) to something absolutely interesting and downright fun. It's great to see people out there who are just good at what they do and enjoy doing what they do. Kinda makes me want to be an interventional radiologist (IR for those in the biz). The guys at IR know how to shoot the shit in more ways than one, but at the end of the day, they get the job done right, and all without taking themselves too seriously.
What do they do, you ask? They open up veins and arteries, cath and stent, do biopsies, pull out hardware, drain cysts, embolize vessels, etc, etc. and they make it all look too easy. There's definitely something to this type of gig...especially when you can do bank hours. I don't know how realistic I am with this avenue (FYI: radiology is one of the toughest residencies to get into), but it's definitely a sweet job if you can get it.

So by my count...specialties of interests: 6
1. Family Medicine
2. OMM
3. Gastroenterology
4. Physical Medicine and Rehab
5. Psychiatry
6. Radiology (sp. IR)

Stay tuned for more...

Song of the day: "Who's On First?" - Abbott and Costello

Easy come, Easy go

So either I'm suffering from what seems to be the beginnings of a cold or just a flare-up of my allergies. Other than that, the day was actually pretty good...I suppose I can say that since there's only 5 minutes left of this day and I don't really have to worry about jynxing it anymore. Tomorrow, I will wrap up my first rotation. It's bye-bye family med, hello radiology.

The last couple of weeks have been for the most part, fairly pleasant. Despite the long commute (1 hour from Cherry Hill to Vineland) to my community service site, I enjoyed my time spent in the Occupational Health Office. All the people in there were very chill and funny, especially my preceptor. He was good enough to let me see his patients and allowed me a decent amount of independence. I even got to suture 2 people (with him assisting, of course). I had a great deal of patient exposure and was very thankful for it. I even found a sweet Puerto Rican Restaurant that has awesome Yellow rice and beans because of this rotation. I wish the rest of the year would go as well as these past two weeks did.

In other news, I went to a bachelor party for my good friend CP this past weekend in NYC. It's weird, when I think about it, 8 years ago, we were just on the other side of the Hudson, looking out 12 miles to the east, on a beautiful autumn day, watching the tragedy of the two towers unfold before our eyes. We were so young then...technically we're still young now, but a lot has happened in the past 8 years. He's gonna be married soon, to a good friend of mine. And this past weekend, we celebrated his good fortune in a city that once grieved, but now seems rejuvenated again...but never forgetting. We took him through pub crawls, Chinatown dive restaurants, Irish taverns, Historic hole-in-the-wall joints, the bevy of strip clubs, and faux trailer parks. It's funny how a day can change its meaning if you just give it some time.

My phone buzzed with an email alert as I type this line. About 6 months ago, that same buzz made me swoon in expectation of text messages about mindless prattle, the kind that goes with infatuation. When the buzzing stopped 2 months later, the silence became my torment. The phone, my enemy. The red LED light that flashed when a message was delivered, failed to shine...signifying my neglect...like a forgotten ancient tombstone.

Now it's just a phone again.

You see?

Time.

Song of the day: "Waltz For A Night" - Julie Delpy in Before Sunset

Take one down, pass it around

Last Saturday (yes, even on the weekend) was unofficially my last day at the Family Medicine office. That's not to say that I won't be making it back there ever. No, I just finished my office time and now it's on to part 1.1 of the Fam Med rotation...OMM. Yes, this should be fun and interesting. I've done some OMM shadowing before with another DO, but tomorrow (or should I say, today) will be my official rotation. I will be doing this for 2 weeks, then followed by another 2 weeks of Community Service (AHEC). Quite looking forward to it, actually.

Things I learned during FM rotation:
1. Learn to shut your mouth and just listen. Most of the time, pts. will tell you all you need to know.
2. We have no pity for drug-seekers. EVER.
3. There's nothing you can't say in 2 minutes that I can't say in 20 (Thank you, Dr. H.).
4. Read. It's the best thing you can do for yourself.
5. I hate (yes,HATE) giving presentations, much more so than taking exams.
6. I just might add Psychiatry to my list of possible specialties...might.
7. Like most things, practice is the key to making the hard things look easy. Just make sure you're practicing the right thing.
8. I need to learn my drugs better, like yesterday.
9. Giving presentations and taking exams will be a constant in my profession. Frick!
10. I'm a magnet for chronic pain sufferers...maybe they're trying to tell me something.

On a different note, today, I played some rhythm guitar with a few of my school buddies. It was a pretty long session and the damn AC wasn't working and he kept the backyard door open to get some air circulation...which wasn't happenin' exactly. It was pretty uncomfortable, but we had fun figuring out the new songs. The cover line up for our impromptu band's performance in 10 days is very eclectic to say the least:
1. Owner of A Lonely Heart - Yes
2. Suzie Q - Creedance Clearwater Revival
3. Fantasy - Mariah Carey
4. Gold Lion - The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
5. Footsteps In The Dark - The Isley Brothers
(6. Plush - Stoned Temple Pilots) -> this is still in the works

I've never played as a guitarist in a band setting before. this should be quite interesting. Oh, and did I mention that we have our SHELF exam the next day after the concert? Brilliant. Good times...

Song of the day: "Footsteps In The Dark" - The Isley Brothers

The drive home

I always enjoy the long drive, especially when it's a quiet, moonlit night. Leaving my parents' house to go back home, lots of things come to mind in the peace of my car's cabin. I open the sun roof and let the steely moonbeams flood in. It had just rained and the clouds are lazily drifting apart, letting the moon come up. The weather's cooled down, especially in this time of night, after the rain. There's plenty of haze coming off of the land and the asphalt, as the late showers and the night's dew draw out the day's heat in the eerie form of mist and shadow.

I think it's times like this that would actually make for a pretty good ghost hunt. The mind is more susceptible to the supernatural when the setting is right...the bright moon, the cool, wet temperature, the mystery of the fog - the vehicle of spirits who laid asleep in the earth. Remnants of their ghosty limbs cling to the pinions of supernatural smoke and cloud, giving them a fleeting form in the moonlight. They come up to haunt, but not to scare...

I think ghosts are leftover potential energy that are caught up in this state of existence. My sense is that, these spirits, these souls, are still here because they had not fulfilled what it was they needed to do while they were still alive. Consider, if you will, life as we know it, as a series of events that are somehow intricately interweaved, interconnected...then each connection that is made is driven by forces that govern the units which articulate in order to make said connection. The soul is that force that drives the unit, the body, to articulate and make the connection, which drives this process known as life forward, like an automaton brought to life by electricity, magnetism, heat, light, energy, coursing through its wires and circuits. But the system is not completely hardy. There are unaccounted variables that come into play and despite all of life's efforts to make all its connections, some units tend to break down. People die, by all sorts of means, some never get to do what it was they were meant to do. However, like any good system, a backup, a redundancy, a failsafe device is always built in to preserve the system should a catastrophic event occur...in this case, influence.

What do I mean? People say they've seen ghosts or spirits. Other people believe that they can commune with the dead. Still others feel the presence of the dead and continually believe in the afterlife. For whatever reason, the dead, even after they have decomposed, still influence us. And I believe that, despite their lack of physicality, they make up for it in energy, and they move us like a magnet moves iron filings through a piece of paper. I do not know if there is a consciousness to this effect, but if there is, then it must do so for the reason of preserving the continuity that is life, like any substance that exists in a medium, it must move down a concentration gradient until equilibrium or dynamic flow is achieved.

And so, the dead, the spirits, the souls of others influence the living, to make the connections that they have failed to accomplish when they were still whole. Perhaps the things they were supposed to do are maybe the same things we are meant to do now in our lifetime. Perhaps they influence us because they are connected to us by the job, the thing that needs doing. Perhaps their energy becomes our force, their memory becomes our thought...stored inside our unconsciousness like a capacitor building up the charge, then released in a giant flash of brilliant light.

Convoluted, confusing, but fun stuff for the drive home. And it was a nice night for a drive.

Song of the day: "Tonight, You Belong To Me"
- Steve Martin and Bernadette Peters

An itch you can't scratch

Hmmm, one month into my first rotation and already I've managed to mess it up. Not too badly I hope, but it does sting me up a bit. I've somehow made a simple 20 minute presentation into an utter catastrophe just because I got flustered. A few stutters here, a forgotten term or two there, and next thing you know, I'm way over my time and not even close to finishing my presentation. I suppose that's what I get for cramming in way too much info and not keeping it simple. What can I say? I'm a hot mess. I've been that since April.

Other than that, I feel achy. Trying to get myself out of my self-loathing by hitting the gym. So far, so good. 2 pounds down...15 more to go. Today is a rest day. I made dinner for Chris and Rachel and decided on giving my bones (and muscles) a little R and R. Tomorrow, I'll see if I can run a good deal before it gets way too hot.

I'm also feeling surprised...well...more like resigned. I've had an assumption about an anomaly I've been pondering for a while now and as luck would have it, today has brought me some answers...which proved my assumption to be correct...sadly. Sorry to be cryptic but the nature of said anomaly is somewhat sensitive and disclosure over a public channel may not be the wisest of actions. Needless to say, the anomaly has finally resolved itself, despite my disappointment. I don't know if I should pat myself in the back for having my assumption confirmed, or paint a target on my wall and run my head through it. I'm not sure if I could have done anything at the time to diffuse the situation. This anomaly has certainly left quite a mark...one that would leave me more jaded in my appreciation of the world and its inhabitants. For a while, I was seriously giving optimism an honest shot, but the sad truth is that...as an optimist, there's only one way to go...and it can be a long and painful way down. I suppose it was my fault for leaving my nose wide out in the open...and in a firefight, you can't leave anything hanging out, otherwise it's liable to get shot. So there you have it. For me, it's case closed...lesson learned. Ouch.

Thank God for the weekend.

Song of the day: "Forget Her" - Jeff Buckley

Ah poo.

It's the same ol' story: Boy gets an assignment. Boy thinks "oh, I got time." Boy goofs off and does other enjoyable activities such as watching old Scrubs reruns, driving aimlessly throughout south Jersey, napping, and the like...and before you know it, crunch time rears it's ugly, pointed head. Boy panics at said ugly head and ends up ruining his weekend so he can catch up. The end.
For once, can I go through the day without procrastinating?
Honestly, if procrastinating was my job, I'd be CEO by now and my personal earnings alone would be enough to pay off the world debt, fix the US economy, and fund universal healthcare...10 times over.

Crappity crap crap.

Song of the day: "The Orchard" - The Bats


"...and here we go a-wassailing around the apple trees again..."

Weekends and stuff

Week 3 of Fam Med is over.
It's been very good so far. But, there's still plenty of stuff to do. And my list of learning issues grows ever longer with no end in sight. But such is the life of a 3rd year, I suppose.

Some things in mind...
1. I have been experiencing a vague sense of urgency lately. As if I'm nagging myself to hurry the hell up with the rest of my life (get a job, get a wife, make a family, be a doctor already, get my own house, pay back my bills, etc...). I don't know if it's my own biological clock or just the relativity of it all when I see myself against many of the people I know who are of similar age as mine when they are doing more "adult" things than me. Feels like I'm just spinning my wheels.
2. I need to finish reading my books. If only I had enough time in the day.
3. I think I aught to make some cookies. I'm about due.
4. I have come to the realization that I Love the Ghostbusters. Nuff said.
5. I have no clue about what to get my mom for her birthday. Help.
6. I got my Board scores back. I passed. =)
7. I need to find a better Dry-Cleaning place. I think the last one I went to gypped me. The pants I asked them to hem are still too damn long! Either that or I'm shrinking.
8. I need to learn how to see patients faster and still give them the appropriate assessment/treatment plan. Sometimes, ya just can't help but feel like an idiot out there.

Eh, that's all I got. Later.

Song of the day: "Long Hot Summer Days" - Sara Watkins

Happy 4th =)

Week 1 of 3rd year clerkship in Family Medicine is officially done! Where did the time go? Why it seems only yesterday, I was spewing out information to teachers and tests. Now, I'm getting spewed on and learning how to order tests. Wow.

Saw a good deal of patients this past week and some of them were pretty interesting cases, which I dare not go on about at this point. Lets just say, I'm never bored and am seriously learning a lot. Still, I'm slowly getting the hang of writing SOAP notes and doing histories and physicals. Best time so far is 45 minutes (with another med student helping me, of course). I hope to bring that down to 10 minutes, flying solo. I certainly am feeling overwhelmed, but in a good way. So far, the outlook about this rotation is very positive. I have good doctors teaching me and they are being really good role models as far as patient care is concerned.

I've met several good people along the way too. The best ones are the vets. They always have the best stories. God bless'em. They're all fiercely proud about their close calls and battle scars and they know how to tell it like it is. And rightfully so! There was this one gentleman who wasn't even a patient, but the husband of one and he was telling me the story behind the ginormous scar on his shoulder, how he got hit by shrapnel from an exploded bomb during WWII in Austria; how he lay wounded for hours before the medics found him, barely alive; how he only received one shot of morphine to last him the 20-hr., 200+ mile back-country ride to Italy where he was to be operated on; how he was fading in and out of consciousness because of the pain; how later on, his scar resembled the emblem of his division because it looked like a red "T." Pretty kick-ass, to say the least. Then there was this other guy who told me how he survived the bombing of Pearl Harbor and how he was on 2 other ships later on in the Pacific and again, survived at sea after having his ships torpedoed. Honestly, I could've sat there and listened to them all day.

"He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian:'
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars.
And say 'These wounds I had on Crispin's day.'"

Thank a vet for serving next time you see him or her.

Happy 4th of July.

Song of the day: "Chocolate Jesus" - Tom Waits

and...Go!

First, it was a nice, quiet early birthday celebration with family, 2 weeks ago. As usual, mom made a wonderful dinner. I overdid it with the noodles (so good) and the steak (so better). Then the gifts and the cake. It's official...I'm 29. the rents gave me some cash, which is always helpful, and my sister and bro-in-law were very generous in getting me a nice-sized flat screen TV for my room. Muchas gracias, indeed.
The rest of that weekend was spent getting some things organized for the upcoming semester. Then it was off to my roadtrip...





Left NJ last Tuesday, the 16th. Arrived in the city by 7ish and had a nice barbecue on the roof with Yoni. His apartment is in the upper west side, which had a nice urbanite feel to it. The next morning, I did a lot of walking in Riverside Park and was playing with the new camera I bought from my brother. It worked well, except for the memory card...not enough memory (sheesh). Took lots of pictures of trees. They were better looking than the architecture. Had lunch at this hummus joint by 72nd street and had Shakshuka (tomato stew with poached eggs) for the first time. Very tasty and bright. Spent the rest of the afternoon just chillin' in the apartment...I think I pulled a hammy from all that walking. That evening, saw "The Hangover" with Yoni and his friend. Pretty damn funny. Later on, it was off to a bar for some more eats and drinks with his other friend, Andy. Congrats to him for getting the GI fellowship!


The next day, it rained, and it never really stopped. So I said my goodbyes and thanked Yon for his hospitality and the use of his couch. I was finally off to Massachusetts to go see Chris and Al. They had since moved from Boston to Waltham into this huge condo. Chris and Al got me some strong plum wine and 3 one-cup sakes for my birthday. Chris and I split one of the sakes before heading out to another party in downtown Boston. Al caught up with us later that evening from her work and we pretty much played pool and had pizza and wings, courtesy of Chris's work. Later that night on the ride back home, we all decided to go for more food @ this place called Shabu Zen. Very cool Japanese restaurant that specializes in shabu-shabu (translation: swish-swish). They give you raw food so you can cook it yourself on the boiling broth on your table, very much in the style of fondue. Everything looked and tasted amazing. I went home the next day and Chris had to go to Martha's Vineyard with his workmates. It would've been a great trip for him except that it was still raining. It never stopped. Al had to go to work too, unfortunately so we all said our goodbyes and I was off, back to Jersey.
That afternoon I picked up some CDs for the ride back home to Cherry Hill and met up with my other friend, Viv, @ Eclectic in Montclair for coffees and a late lunch. It was good to catch up with her.
And so ends my abridged New England roadtrip.

Yesterday, 3rd year officially started with our orientation. Back to battle...

Song of the Day: "Nothing But A Miracle" - Diane Birch

She's So choice!

The night before

Hours away from the big Step 1 exam. Another hurdle to pass along my journey. Wish me luck. Later =)

Song of the day: "Devil May Care" - Diana Krall

Blogetty blah blah

Did most of my studying for today. Got a number of test questions done as well. The big one is less than 2 weeks. EEK. I'm still wired. Really have nothing much to say except for a few splintered fragments of thought that just flitted into view. To enumerate:

1. My birthday roadtrip will be delayed. Certain unavoidable and pressing duties that require my undivided attention have come up. And I must attend to them prior to my vacation. Once again...joy, deferred.

2. I find that my ability to be a "good Samaritan" is getting blunted. Is it me? Have I become so self-centered and jaded that I can't even offer a shred of help in times of need? Take, for example, this afternoon. This woman that worked in the coffee shop I was studying at was leaving after her shift. 15 minutes later, she comes back in, saying that her car has a flat tire. Granted, she said that Triple A was coming to help, but none the less, I could have offered some assistance. Instead, I make a comment about how she just couldn't leave the place. At the time, I thought I was being witty and light-hearted about the situation, but come to think of it now, I probably sounded downright insensitive. Ugh. Jerky! Won't happen again.

3. I need to tone down the caffeine if I am to successfully go to sleep @ around the 12-to-1am time frame.

4. It may be a little late now, but I think I need a highlighter with some color other than bright yellow.

5. I could go for some pie. Apple or pecan would do. =(

6. Since I can't sleep yet, I figured I'd do some more studying and stop procrastinating...

Good night.

Song of the day: "Closer" - Travis

More, more, more

Another sleepless night. I have a couple more lectures and some reading to do before I turn in. I figured I'd procrastinate a bit and blow off some steam. Or whatever's PG about it. The 3 weeks are slowly whittling down to 2. And I still have a lot more to do. I think I have a good plan right now. Do some lectures in the morning and by the evening, do as many questions as I can (at least 100+). Pathology and the rest of the body systems are getting a once over. After this week, it will all be Micro, Pharm, and OMM until the bitter end. Grrr. Just keep working and you'll be all right. Bring it.
I'm thinking of going to Acadia National Park (Thanks Jon, for suggesting it) in Maine for the highpoint of my roadtrip. Then cover the rest of the state and whatever else I missed on the way back. One of few things I'm actually looking forward to doing. I also got my 3rd year rotation schedule, so it's kinda nice and sobering to know that there is an abundance of work ahead, after I get back. No sweat, right? Right.
It's nice to get encouragement from time to time. I met some 4th year friends of mine today. They're enjoying their month off right now before they head out to their internships. Just the mere fact alone that they were standing there, graduated, giving me a pep talk is a good enough affirmation that there is light at the end of this tunnel. Things have been worse. I just have to keep moving, day in and day out. The work is good and I don't mind it as much as I used to. It keeps me sane (weird, I know).
That's it for now, I guess. I'll write again if there is something more substantial that's worth writing about.
Good night.

Song of the day: "Sad Song" - The Spring Standards

I'm a sucker for harmony. And this song ain't really sad at all =)

Warm...

3 more weeks before I take the boards. I want to get this over with, but everytime I take a practice test, I still feel unready. Slowly getting to the score that I want. I'm glad I get a few more days before the big one.
Happy Memorial Day. I hope you got to spend it with loved ones, relaxing and enjoying the good weather. I'm inside the house, feeling unmotivated and a little tired.
I need coffee. Badly. I made a bad decision about drinking a red eye (my new favorite drink) this past Saturday night. I was able to study, alright, but getting to bed at a reasonable time was absolutely out of the question that night. I was reading a pathology book til 4 in the bloody morning, and didn't really sleep til 6. Woke up @ 10 for mass. I had awful dreams tho. It's like my brain was punishing me for making it stay awake past what it normally wanted. It was not a restful sleep at all.
I decided that I will take a small roadtrip up the northeast after the big exam. A chance to see some old friends, new places, and hopefully clear my mind. There's just way too much crap in there that needs to be emptied out. Crap that I don't need, never needed. This is a nice chance for me to reset myself before rotations begin. Also, I get to test out my new camera...it's actually my brother's old Canon Rebel. I bought it from him for cheap because he got a new, cooler one. I'll put some nice pics up when I get around to it.
I hope you're all well and doing well. If you're reading this, send some good love my way. I can always use it. If I haven't seen ya or talked to you in a while, I hope I can fix that sooner rather than later.
Ok, time I get myself going. That's all for now. More next time.

Song of the day: "It's Not True" - William Fitzsimmons

And so it goes

So, it's been almost a year since last I wrote something in here. Lots has happened. New Orleans (Habitat for Humanity) was a lot of fun. Just being able to put in a good day's worth of work for the benefit of those needing lots of help was a good thing for the soul. And getting to play in the Bourbon St. nightlife was also pretty groovy. Thanks to Meg and Mirv for coming to NOLA and showing me the sights. Let's do it again next time =).
The Migrant Worker Clinic turned out well too. There were lots of patients to see and they were very grateful for even the smallest thing we can do for them. Really made me realize that healthcare should be more accessible to the public. On a brighter note, I got to practice my Spanish and my vital sign skills.
Teaching or at least, assisting in the Prematric program was a great way to make new friends and review my anatomy/OMM. Also, it made me realize finally that I'm not cut out to be a teacher. I hate...repeat...HATE grading papers.
The fall and spring semesters of 2nd year were nothing but one big sequence of trials...droning on and on. Endless days and sleepless nights of learning Path, Pharm, and Medicine...plus other peripheral classes...oh and don't forget to season the whole thing with the day-to-day drama (yes, life still exists out of med school). After review for Boards, I felt like I haven't really learned anything solid in the past 10 months of 2nd sem. It was like, ok, lets memorize for the test, then regurgitate. Rinse. Repeat. And now, it's Boards time. Just when I thought I was done shoveling 500 medical pancakes down my throat, I have to do it all over again for Step 1. I have less than a month left to prepare. Saddle up kiddies...it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
On the upside, I'm looking forward to 3rd year. Every day is a day closer to my goal. Yes, it's difficult now (hell, it's been difficult all year long, especially the end of the spring sem), but all of this is just prologue to the good stuff. So far I'm still alive, still standing and keeping myself open for better things ahead. And all the prep work/heartache/backache/sleep-deprivation I'm doing now is paving the way for all of that, so no worry about a t'ing cuz every lil thing gon' be alright.
Yea, I have good and bad days, but so does everybody. I figure, it's just another opportunity for me to make things right. And pretty much that's all I can do, for now.
There are ideas in the making...I'll keep you posted as things progress.

Ciao.

Song of the Day: "Caroline" - The Belleville Outfit