Monday, May 31, 2010

Lesson learned

Never ever run with a headache...especially if it was a caffeine withdrawal one.
Nearly puked my guts out after mile 1. And of course it doesn't help if it's 80+ degrees outside with the humidity close to 90%. Yuck.

Date: 05/31/10
Distance: 3.30 miles
Time: 43:09
Pace: 13.02 per mile
Calories: 373
Weight: 151 lbs
Short-term Goal: Shave 3 minutes off of my pace. And maintain caffeination.
Long-term Goal: lose 15 lbs.

Song of the day: "World Spins Madly On" - The Weepies

The beginning of the end

K. Pediatrics - dun. Which unofficially marks the end of our third year since Peds was my last medical rotation, btw. YAY! Took my exam this past Friday (hopefully I didn't do that badly) and quickly hightailed it to my friends up in North Jersey to celebrate their birthday! Next day, went home to the Parental units and just hung out for the weekend. It was real nice...and I was absolutely lazy. Didn't have to wake up with an alarm clock, didn't have to fight with traffic...actually got a sit down breakfast, with fresh coffee and later on, a catch-up marathon of the latest season of Dr. Who! Sweet.

So, surprising things in Peds:
1. I like pediatrics! Enough to make it my specialty! Woo-Hoo!!!
2. I have a tolerance for crying babies.
3. I didn't get sick (considering that most of my friends were afflicted with childhood ailments during their own peds rotations). Pretty lucky!
4. I didn't get vomited, peed or poohed on! 3 words: location, location, location.
5. Oddly enough, I got smacked in the face with a stuffed bunny by a 72 year-old demented lady, no less. Really didn't see that coming.
6. For somebody who's an asthmatic, I still have some difficulty with identifying some abnormal lung sounds. Either that or I'm going deaf.
7. I started running again. Awesome.
8. Little kiddies make me feel old sometimes. Especially if I have to chase after them or pick them up.
9. In less than 12 months, I'm going to be a doctor. Scary.
10. 3rd year was definitely better than 2nd year.

Song of the day: "Say Goodnight And Go" - Imogen Heap

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Awkward...

Somebody contacted me a few days ago...an ex of mine from a few years ago. It was nice to hear from her, but at the same time, I couldn't help feeling weird about it. It was a few emails exchanged and in the interim, there was conversation about old relationships, what led to breakups and her most recent relationship or rather, ex-relationship. I get the feeling that she's only contacting me now because she's rebounding from this last breakup of hers.

I hate being rebound, especially if it's a rebound from an ex. I remember she was the one who broke up w/ me during college and for good reason. Both of us were just not clicking well.

And now this...

I don't want to be with her, but I don't want to ignore her either. I hate telling people that I am not interested in them. I told her that I was just over a relationship myself and that I'm not looking for another one. I don't think she got that hint.

There's always this lingering fear in the back of my head that somehow I'd get suckered into a match with the wrong person because I don't know how to tell them that I'm not into them. I wish I was already in a relationship so I can say "no" and not feel bad about it. You know?

Song of the day: "Watching You Sleep" - Bleu

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Flying blind

The sister took the Nike sensor so I couldn't exactly gauge how much I ran.
But it was a good run, and I feel I'm getting faster.

Run 4: 05/21/10
Distance: approx 3 and 3/4 miles
Time: 45 min. ish
Pace: ?
Calories: ?
Weight: ?
Short-term Goal: Do 3 miles at a steady jog pace. I got side cramps tonight.
Long-term Goal: lose 15 lbs.

In other news, it was brought to my attention that I need to write something new since I have been reticent about more personal musings for a while (which is actually a good thing...I hate it when I whine).
So I am writing about the plight of being single, as inspired by a conversation with one of my med school buddies this past week over eggs, toast, and coffee...
For the most part, he and I are in the same boat. Both single, both in their late 20s, both almost out of med school, in debt and have little compunctions about leaving our state of origin for newer locales.
He worries about not finding a girlfriend, specifically somebody that is "wifey" material. He doesn't want to start a family of his own when he's in his 50s. He feels that his life is in a great state of flux - the possibility of getting a job at another state, being in debt, being in residency for the next 4 years, etc. He thinks that by finding a girl now, it would cause a great deal of confusion and drama later on after graduation. He's all sorts of conflicted...he is dating, but he doesn't know for sure about his current date (he feels that she's not the commitment type), to which he discloses his greatest fear of being incompatible with others. Then his resolution comes out - "I'd rather be alone than be with the wrong girl," he says emphatically.

I tell him, "at least you're dating again."

His plight is pretty much the same as mine. I've asked those concerns many times over in my head. And I feel that I won't find the answers anytime soon. Besides, there's no point addressing such questions now. I need to get a girlfriend first before I even think about crossing such bridges. Sometimes I think I've inherited a curse (many aunts and uncles of mine are in their 40s/50s and are still single) and honestly, it scares me a bit.

For now tho, I say to my friend J, "keep your options open. If this girl you're dating feels wrong, then you know your answer. Right now, we just need to concentrate on the task at hand, which is getting through the last year of school and graduating. We'll eventually catch up with life and it's best that we get ourselves together for when we do meet our potential soulmates. These things have a way of working themselves out in the end...or so I'm told."

And so I leave you with a tasty new tune...a nice jaunty ditty with a good bite to wash away the fears of singledom and to keep you all satiated until the next time we meet.

Song of the day: "Next Girl" - The Black Keys

Monday, May 17, 2010

You gotta be kidding me!?!?!

I think Nike Running App is F***ing with me. Last week it told me that I ran 4.44 miles in 51:09 minutes. This time, it tells me that I ran short of 4 miles in about 45 minutes, but here's the kicker...I RAN THE SAME ROUTE AT A FASTER PACE (At least I think so anyways). This app needs to be calibrated right.

Run 3: 05/17/10
Distance: 3.79 miles
Time: 44:47
Pace: 11'47" per mile
Calories: 429
Weight: Dunno...
Short-term Goal: Do 3 miles at a steady jog pace. I got side cramps tonight.
Long-term Goal: lose 15 lbs.

Not really sure how accurate this run was, except for the time. It was almost a whole Ray LaMontagne Album.

Song of the day: "Flim" - The Bad Plus (orig. song by Aphex Twin)

Friday, May 14, 2010

Happy frustration

It's great and all that I finally, actually found what I really want to do in this medicine business, but why did it have to come at the tail end of 3rd year? Problem is that I need to set up elective rotations (5 of them to be exact). Early on in April, I was toying with the idea of going into Internal Medicine (specifically, GI). So I began setting up GI rotations and am almost finished until I got into my Pediatric rotation, where I found out that I actually like working with the little buggers. I tried switching those GI rotations to peds ones, but unfortunately the pediatric elective positions for 4th year are all but taken. Now, I'm scrambling just a bit to look for hospitals with peds programs that can fit my schedule, and are hopefully potential places of employment for me after 4th year. This has become the new thorn in my side. Sigh...for once, can't I have things just a smidge easy?

At least, I'm getting some really nice comments from my attendings, so that's boosting my confidence/ego a tad. I still mess up a little sometimes, but they provide good learning opportunities and the Doctors are nice enough to give important pearls of wisdom.

As for my running, the past couple of days have been fairly cold and rainy. Today was the first nice day so I laced up and hit the pavement. Did a hell of a lot better this time around. I like this running @ night schedule. Not too many distractions, the occasional cat or wild hare crossing your path, and the sweet smell of grass and dew is so much cleaner during this time. Traffic is low, everything dials down the volume and there's nothing but streetlamps and my footsteps keeping time with the soundtrack in my ipod.

Workout Day 2: 05/13/10
Distance: 4.44 miles
Time: 51:09
Pace: 11'31" per mile
Calories: 501
Weight: 152 lbs.
Short-term Goal: Maintain a 10 mile-minute pace for 3 miles.
Long-term Goal: lose 15 lbs.

Song of the day: "Believe In Us" - Jay Jay Johanson

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

My friend balked at me yesterday that blogs aught to have specific subjects in order to garner support from like-minded readers. This was after I told her that I added a running/workout journal component to "The Scrap Paper Manifesto." She was adamant that I should put this running journal as a separate blog, to which I responded with the following list:

1. It's my blog.  I'll do whatever I want with it.
2. I don't want to deal with yet another blog. I have a lot on my plate already.
3. I like to condense things.  A running journal is just another subject I use to buff up TSPM.
4. If people are THAT curious to chart my progress, all they have to do is click on the label "running" or "workout" and all my running entries would be chronologically displayed.
5. I don't think anybody cares whatever I do with my blog.  I can count the number of my followers in my left hand and they're not complaining.

And with that, we went to Wawa for delicious flatbread sammiches.

Questions? Concerns? Snide remarks? Let'em fly!

Song of the day: "Paradise Circus" - Massive Attack

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

And...cue training montage!

So instead of using this blog as my bitch post/school progress update thingy, I have decided to put it to better use. I propose to add a physical fitness tracker journal in this piece so I can chart my progress as I get myself back into shape. Tonight is my first night in what I hope to be a long list of days/nights of sweat and hard work. As I told S&P tonight, I want to look good in time for my residency interview. Well, that and I want to look good, naked.

Tonight, I went for a walk/run. Mind you I haven't really worked out since this past fall, so my time wasn't exactly the best. But I did it...mostly walking, but I ran the last mile, so it felt good. Real good. Expect the next stats to be a bit better.

In order to accurately gauge my training, I have employed the help of my handy dandy ipod touch using the Nike Workout App to see how I measure up from day to day. I will post the results here along with my goals and random musings.

Allons-y!

Workout Day 1: 05/10/10
Distance: 3.73 miles
Time: 51:26
Pace: 13'45" per mile
Calories: 422
Weight: 154 lbs.
Short-term Goal: Get to running most of the 3 miles on the next run.
Long-term Goal: lose 15 lbs.

"The task must be made difficult, for only the difficult inspires the noble-hearted." - S. Kierkegaard

Song of the day: "Hearts On Fire" - John Cafferty


Rocky IV training montage - you know you love it!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Hmmm

The wind is absolutely ridiculous today and tonight.
It threw a branch at my windshield on my way to the movies this evening! Good thing my windshield is branch resistant.
Saw Ironman 2 with baby brother and nephew. Awesome boys night out. This was a much needed break from doing double duty all week (studying for Peds SHELF exam while reviewing Head and Neck anatomy for the sake of tutoring 1st years effectively does not a happy 3rd year med student make).
I am currently gutting through a mildish stomach ache. I don't know if it is some sort of a viral thing caught from the pediatrics office or some other place (despite my constant hand washing, picking up bugs comes as second nature to me), or the beef w/ broccoli this afternoon, or the pack of Haribo Gummy Bears I scarfed down during the movie...whatever it is, I am not a big fan at the moment.
Peds week has moved from the ER to the office. And I like it! The doctors are nice, the nurses are great, and the babies are ridiculously cute...even when they're sick! One of the docs told me that I work well with kids and that I seem to like what I'm doing and that I should consider Peds as an option. Once more, indecision rears its ugly head. Ugh, why can't I just stick to one thing?
Mom's day tomorrow. The fam is taking my mom and mom-in-law (well, my sister's mom-in-law) to Arthur's steakhouse. Should be delicious and fun.

I still can't sleep. Now I have this song running through my head.

Song of the day: "Sara Smile" - Brian McKnight (Hall & Oates Cover)

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Just remembered something

This past week, I was @ the Jersey Java and Tea and was having my afternoon coffee when an old vet sitting by the window struck a conversation with me.

It happened while I was paying for my drink. I only had the exact amount to pay the barista, but not enough to give him a tip. So I ran back to my jacket pocket and scrounged up enough coinage to give him a buck...looks cheap but it's still legal tender. So the vet says "Those coins sure are a pain in the ass to carry. I don't know why the government still keeps making them." To which I replied "Perhaps they like the sound the coins make when they jingle." And from there, a conversation was struck between us about all sorts of things. Mostly I let him talk because he seemed like he had a lot to say. He had amazing stories, from the time he was kicked out of high school for kicking a couple of racist kids' butts (they started it btw, just because our hero in question was black and was at the wrong neighborhood), to the time he joined the marines and his training days in Parris Island (to which he recounted his experience as being "a peach"), to his tour assignments throughout the Far East during Vietnam and beyond. He recounted his accession into the Navy SEALs, his many promotions and his numerous travels throughout the world in his 35 years of service. He beamed with pride when he spoke of his two sons, both in the armed forces.

He tells me that while in the during his tour in Vietnam, he was exposed to agent orange and from that, how he developed cancer. He says that he's just hanging out @ the cafe before he had to go to his doctor's appointment. To this, I said nothing. I couldn't say anything. What could I say? Somehow, "sorry" just could not encompass the gravity of it all. He spoke of his condition as if it was a random, daily thing, or rather more like an inconvenience. I suppose seeing and knowing what he'd been through all these years in the service, Cancer is just an inconvenience to him, even if it meant his mortality.

He wasn't resigned, sad, or regretful, at least not from what I can tell of how he spoke about his life. He was just an old bloke, happy to be alive, trying to tell a youngblood like me about a really good and honest story...his story; as if imparting to me his most valuable treasures, wishing that I should have such an adventurous and amazing tale to tell when my time comes.

I shook his hand and thanked him for his story and his service. He wished me luck and with a nod, he left for his appointment.

So, to Chief Warrant Officer ______, my sincerest thanks.

Song of the day: "Sawdust Saloon" - The Low Anthem

The lump on the pickle

Yep. This week was nothing but absolute uselessness and a waste of time. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed every bit of it. I'm the "Jack the Ripper" of time-killing. It's just that 2 weeks have gone by in Pediatrics (week 1 = Peds ER, Week 2 - Off with random enrichment lectures), and I've only gone through 4, count 'em, 4 chapters of the review book for step two boards. I told myself I'd read 2 chapters a week which would've gotten me all finished with the review book by this coming Wednesday, but somehow, my amazing ability to procrastinate and the lure of catching up with Doctor Who episodes were all just too much to pass up. I'm weak. I know. To make things worse, PBS just released the Royal Shakespeare Company's BBC production of "Hamlet" this past week, starring two of my favorite actors: David Tennant (Doctor Who, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire) and Patrick Stewart (Star Trek: TNG). So like the dork that I am, I went on and wasted more time watching the show and re-reading the play. I guess this proves that becoming a surgeon is not in the cards for me. I have too many other interests I'd rather be doing than cutting people up and being on call 24/7.
One more thing: I feel like I'm about to pop. I ate so much today on account of my Nephew having a Confirmation party. And in true gluttonistic (that's right, I'm making up my own words) fashion, I topped the night off by eating the last red velvet cupcake (made by yours truly, of course) with a side of rocky road ice cream while watching Mayweather beat the crap out of Mosley. Quite disappointing since I wanted Mosley to shut that arrogant SOB Mayweather, up. But I suppose this only sets up the stage for Manny to knock the smile off of Floyd's cocky face later on. We shall see.

So what does the week have in store for me:
1. Doing some schedule changes with my electives.
2. Updating CV some more.
3. READ PEDIATRICS REVIEW BOOK!
4. Review Head, Neck, and Back anatomy for the 1st years (God help me).
5. Trying not to procrastinate so much for this week.
6. Do laundry.
I figure, that's about 2 tasks per day. Hopefully that's doable, even for a notorious procrastinator like myself. Ask me next weekend.

Song of the day: "Berry Picker's Tune" - T. Nile & Joanna Chapman-Smith