Last Saturday (yes, even on the weekend) was unofficially my last day at the Family Medicine office. That's not to say that I won't be making it back there ever. No, I just finished my office time and now it's on to part 1.1 of the Fam Med rotation...OMM. Yes, this should be fun and interesting. I've done some OMM shadowing before with another DO, but tomorrow (or should I say, today) will be my official rotation. I will be doing this for 2 weeks, then followed by another 2 weeks of Community Service (AHEC). Quite looking forward to it, actually.
Things I learned during FM rotation:
1. Learn to shut your mouth and just listen. Most of the time, pts. will tell you all you need to know.
2. We have no pity for drug-seekers. EVER.
3. There's nothing you can't say in 2 minutes that I can't say in 20 (Thank you, Dr. H.).
4. Read. It's the best thing you can do for yourself.
5. I hate (yes,HATE) giving presentations, much more so than taking exams.
6. I just might add Psychiatry to my list of possible specialties...might.
7. Like most things, practice is the key to making the hard things look easy. Just make sure you're practicing the right thing.
8. I need to learn my drugs better, like yesterday.
9. Giving presentations and taking exams will be a constant in my profession. Frick!
10. I'm a magnet for chronic pain sufferers...maybe they're trying to tell me something.
On a different note, today, I played some rhythm guitar with a few of my school buddies. It was a pretty long session and the damn AC wasn't working and he kept the backyard door open to get some air circulation...which wasn't happenin' exactly. It was pretty uncomfortable, but we had fun figuring out the new songs. The cover line up for our impromptu band's performance in 10 days is very eclectic to say the least:
1. Owner of A Lonely Heart - Yes
2. Suzie Q - Creedance Clearwater Revival
3. Fantasy - Mariah Carey
4. Gold Lion - The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
5. Footsteps In The Dark - The Isley Brothers
(6. Plush - Stoned Temple Pilots) -> this is still in the works
I've never played as a guitarist in a band setting before. this should be quite interesting. Oh, and did I mention that we have our SHELF exam the next day after the concert? Brilliant. Good times...
Song of the day: "Footsteps In The Dark" - The Isley Brothers
Monday, August 24, 2009
Sunday, August 9, 2009
The drive home
I always enjoy the long drive, especially when it's a quiet, moonlit night. Leaving my parents' house to go back home, lots of things come to mind in the peace of my car's cabin. I open the sun roof and let the steely moonbeams flood in. It had just rained and the clouds are lazily drifting apart, letting the moon come up. The weather's cooled down, especially in this time of night, after the rain. There's plenty of haze coming off of the land and the asphalt, as the late showers and the night's dew draw out the day's heat in the eerie form of mist and shadow.
I think it's times like this that would actually make for a pretty good ghost hunt. The mind is more susceptible to the supernatural when the setting is right...the bright moon, the cool, wet temperature, the mystery of the fog - the vehicle of spirits who laid asleep in the earth. Remnants of their ghosty limbs cling to the pinions of supernatural smoke and cloud, giving them a fleeting form in the moonlight. They come up to haunt, but not to scare...
I think ghosts are leftover potential energy that are caught up in this state of existence. My sense is that, these spirits, these souls, are still here because they had not fulfilled what it was they needed to do while they were still alive. Consider, if you will, life as we know it, as a series of events that are somehow intricately interweaved, interconnected...then each connection that is made is driven by forces that govern the units which articulate in order to make said connection. The soul is that force that drives the unit, the body, to articulate and make the connection, which drives this process known as life forward, like an automaton brought to life by electricity, magnetism, heat, light, energy, coursing through its wires and circuits. But the system is not completely hardy. There are unaccounted variables that come into play and despite all of life's efforts to make all its connections, some units tend to break down. People die, by all sorts of means, some never get to do what it was they were meant to do. However, like any good system, a backup, a redundancy, a failsafe device is always built in to preserve the system should a catastrophic event occur...in this case, influence.
What do I mean? People say they've seen ghosts or spirits. Other people believe that they can commune with the dead. Still others feel the presence of the dead and continually believe in the afterlife. For whatever reason, the dead, even after they have decomposed, still influence us. And I believe that, despite their lack of physicality, they make up for it in energy, and they move us like a magnet moves iron filings through a piece of paper. I do not know if there is a consciousness to this effect, but if there is, then it must do so for the reason of preserving the continuity that is life, like any substance that exists in a medium, it must move down a concentration gradient until equilibrium or dynamic flow is achieved.
And so, the dead, the spirits, the souls of others influence the living, to make the connections that they have failed to accomplish when they were still whole. Perhaps the things they were supposed to do are maybe the same things we are meant to do now in our lifetime. Perhaps they influence us because they are connected to us by the job, the thing that needs doing. Perhaps their energy becomes our force, their memory becomes our thought...stored inside our unconsciousness like a capacitor building up the charge, then released in a giant flash of brilliant light.
Convoluted, confusing, but fun stuff for the drive home. And it was a nice night for a drive.
Song of the day: "Tonight, You Belong To Me"
- Steve Martin and Bernadette Peters
I think it's times like this that would actually make for a pretty good ghost hunt. The mind is more susceptible to the supernatural when the setting is right...the bright moon, the cool, wet temperature, the mystery of the fog - the vehicle of spirits who laid asleep in the earth. Remnants of their ghosty limbs cling to the pinions of supernatural smoke and cloud, giving them a fleeting form in the moonlight. They come up to haunt, but not to scare...
I think ghosts are leftover potential energy that are caught up in this state of existence. My sense is that, these spirits, these souls, are still here because they had not fulfilled what it was they needed to do while they were still alive. Consider, if you will, life as we know it, as a series of events that are somehow intricately interweaved, interconnected...then each connection that is made is driven by forces that govern the units which articulate in order to make said connection. The soul is that force that drives the unit, the body, to articulate and make the connection, which drives this process known as life forward, like an automaton brought to life by electricity, magnetism, heat, light, energy, coursing through its wires and circuits. But the system is not completely hardy. There are unaccounted variables that come into play and despite all of life's efforts to make all its connections, some units tend to break down. People die, by all sorts of means, some never get to do what it was they were meant to do. However, like any good system, a backup, a redundancy, a failsafe device is always built in to preserve the system should a catastrophic event occur...in this case, influence.
What do I mean? People say they've seen ghosts or spirits. Other people believe that they can commune with the dead. Still others feel the presence of the dead and continually believe in the afterlife. For whatever reason, the dead, even after they have decomposed, still influence us. And I believe that, despite their lack of physicality, they make up for it in energy, and they move us like a magnet moves iron filings through a piece of paper. I do not know if there is a consciousness to this effect, but if there is, then it must do so for the reason of preserving the continuity that is life, like any substance that exists in a medium, it must move down a concentration gradient until equilibrium or dynamic flow is achieved.
And so, the dead, the spirits, the souls of others influence the living, to make the connections that they have failed to accomplish when they were still whole. Perhaps the things they were supposed to do are maybe the same things we are meant to do now in our lifetime. Perhaps they influence us because they are connected to us by the job, the thing that needs doing. Perhaps their energy becomes our force, their memory becomes our thought...stored inside our unconsciousness like a capacitor building up the charge, then released in a giant flash of brilliant light.
Convoluted, confusing, but fun stuff for the drive home. And it was a nice night for a drive.
Song of the day: "Tonight, You Belong To Me"
- Steve Martin and Bernadette Peters
Friday, August 7, 2009
An itch you can't scratch
Hmmm, one month into my first rotation and already I've managed to mess it up. Not too badly I hope, but it does sting me up a bit. I've somehow made a simple 20 minute presentation into an utter catastrophe just because I got flustered. A few stutters here, a forgotten term or two there, and next thing you know, I'm way over my time and not even close to finishing my presentation. I suppose that's what I get for cramming in way too much info and not keeping it simple. What can I say? I'm a hot mess. I've been that since April.
Other than that, I feel achy. Trying to get myself out of my self-loathing by hitting the gym. So far, so good. 2 pounds down...15 more to go. Today is a rest day. I made dinner for Chris and Rachel and decided on giving my bones (and muscles) a little R and R. Tomorrow, I'll see if I can run a good deal before it gets way too hot.
I'm also feeling surprised...well...more like resigned. I've had an assumption about an anomaly I've been pondering for a while now and as luck would have it, today has brought me some answers...which proved my assumption to be correct...sadly. Sorry to be cryptic but the nature of said anomaly is somewhat sensitive and disclosure over a public channel may not be the wisest of actions. Needless to say, the anomaly has finally resolved itself, despite my disappointment. I don't know if I should pat myself in the back for having my assumption confirmed, or paint a target on my wall and run my head through it. I'm not sure if I could have done anything at the time to diffuse the situation. This anomaly has certainly left quite a mark...one that would leave me more jaded in my appreciation of the world and its inhabitants. For a while, I was seriously giving optimism an honest shot, but the sad truth is that...as an optimist, there's only one way to go...and it can be a long and painful way down. I suppose it was my fault for leaving my nose wide out in the open...and in a firefight, you can't leave anything hanging out, otherwise it's liable to get shot. So there you have it. For me, it's case closed...lesson learned. Ouch.
Thank God for the weekend.
Song of the day: "Forget Her" - Jeff Buckley
Other than that, I feel achy. Trying to get myself out of my self-loathing by hitting the gym. So far, so good. 2 pounds down...15 more to go. Today is a rest day. I made dinner for Chris and Rachel and decided on giving my bones (and muscles) a little R and R. Tomorrow, I'll see if I can run a good deal before it gets way too hot.
I'm also feeling surprised...well...more like resigned. I've had an assumption about an anomaly I've been pondering for a while now and as luck would have it, today has brought me some answers...which proved my assumption to be correct...sadly. Sorry to be cryptic but the nature of said anomaly is somewhat sensitive and disclosure over a public channel may not be the wisest of actions. Needless to say, the anomaly has finally resolved itself, despite my disappointment. I don't know if I should pat myself in the back for having my assumption confirmed, or paint a target on my wall and run my head through it. I'm not sure if I could have done anything at the time to diffuse the situation. This anomaly has certainly left quite a mark...one that would leave me more jaded in my appreciation of the world and its inhabitants. For a while, I was seriously giving optimism an honest shot, but the sad truth is that...as an optimist, there's only one way to go...and it can be a long and painful way down. I suppose it was my fault for leaving my nose wide out in the open...and in a firefight, you can't leave anything hanging out, otherwise it's liable to get shot. So there you have it. For me, it's case closed...lesson learned. Ouch.
Thank God for the weekend.
Song of the day: "Forget Her" - Jeff Buckley
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)