Somebody contacted me a few days ago...an ex of mine from a few years ago. It was nice to hear from her, but at the same time, I couldn't help feeling weird about it. It was a few emails exchanged and in the interim, there was conversation about old relationships, what led to breakups and her most recent relationship or rather, ex-relationship. I get the feeling that she's only contacting me now because she's rebounding from this last breakup of hers.
I hate being rebound, especially if it's a rebound from an ex. I remember she was the one who broke up w/ me during college and for good reason. Both of us were just not clicking well.
And now this...
I don't want to be with her, but I don't want to ignore her either. I hate telling people that I am not interested in them. I told her that I was just over a relationship myself and that I'm not looking for another one. I don't think she got that hint.
There's always this lingering fear in the back of my head that somehow I'd get suckered into a match with the wrong person because I don't know how to tell them that I'm not into them. I wish I was already in a relationship so I can say "no" and not feel bad about it. You know?
Song of the day: "Watching You Sleep" - Bleu
1 comment:
Oh hearts they are tricky and fickle things. As a woman, I have to say that while men believe they are saving us grief or being "open/honest" you really need to just spit it out - the slap in the face kind of response is a hell of a lot easier than the water torture route. Most of us are tough cookies, we move on when there is nothing to cling to, if you leave even a thread she can still weave it into a huge “future” tapestry – do not do it, just like I should not continue with the metaphors.
So just say you are a nice person, but I do not believe we are compatible, have a nice life. Do not leave the door open for if's and but's – no I just left a relationship, I am not looking or anything because let’s be honest whether you’re out or in or not looking in the end if THAT person comes along all those reasons no longer exist – and she is not THAT person (so you say).
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