Last week of my current rotation. And this time, it's a doozey. I have call on Monday and Thursday. That translates to two 30-hour in-hospital stays. Yuck. And Friday can't get here any sooner. God help me find the strength to endure and please help me not Fuck up.
It's snowing here and it's making everything look very Christmasy. Still, there's a sense of loneliness that comes with it, being away from home and from everything that's familiar to you and all. Thank goodness for friends. Especially ones that will put you up for the night or the month, or keep you company during the long hours, or cheer you up when things are rough.
This past month has certainly been challenging. It has for many a time, made me question my competence as a new physician. I bemoan much of my school's shortcomings during my training years, but that wouldn't be entirely fair. I have done my fair share of slacking off. So in a way, I am as much to blame for my misery now as my school. I suppose I'm really angry at myself for not being as stellar in this rotation as I thought I would be.
It really sucks when I know I'm right.
On another note, I need to get crackin' on my Christmas shopping. Yet another part of the season that I have been absolutely slack with. I owe lots of people good presents. They've been very good to me this year and I don't think I could have made it in one piece if it weren't for their help, love and supprot.
Thank goodness this rotation is the last of my away electives. I do enjoy the travel, but seriously, being a nomad is starting to take its toll on me. I miss my own bed and being in familiar surroundings. In a way, I can be thankful for the experience of what a bad residency can do to a person. It has shown me the importance of having family and loved ones nearby. It's nice knowing that other people have your back when the proverbial shit hits the fan. On that note, for this Christmas, I wish to find a residency that would suit me accordingly. One that will provide me with great training, but at the same time be supportive and forgiving of my foreseeable iniquities. Oh, and one with lots of cool and helpful new friends. Amen.
Song of the day: "I'll Be Home For Christmas" - Holly Conlan (Hotel Cafe Presents Winter Songs)
1 comment:
First of all thank you dear for the post
The end is almost there - chin up. As I've said before all those friends and family you have are cheering for you - they believe in you, even if you are doubting yourself in these moments.
I think you also need to factor in exhaustion and the general stress that comes with Christmas season - the world seems to ramp up it's general stress level. You've done an insane amount of work/travel in the last little while and not having familiar locations/bed will unhinge everyone eventually.
Take a deep breath and remember it will come together - praying for that.
Post a Comment