Life in PA!

Hello All!!
Ok, I haven't been keeping up with my blog, and I'm sorry about that.  The move to central PA has taken most of my time.  Lots of setbacks and short tempers but things are slowly shaping up.
Lemme splain...
1. The place I moved into was somewhat not ready for move in (some windows weren't working, some had no screens, all had no blinds, the place wasn't cleaned by the landlord, The backdoor doorknob keeps falling off, etc...)
2. The boxspring for my bed can't fit through the stairs, so right now, I'm just sleeping on the mattress
3. The Oven doesn't work!!!  It did before!  Now, it doesn't.  WTF?!
4. It took forever to connect my DSL, and on top of that, my wireless network (obviously both are fixed now).
5. ORIENTATION HAS STARTED!!! I got my own long white coat, my pager, and my ridiculous schedule and everything else that comes with being a new intern.  Quite overwhelming, really.

So I start next Friday, the 1st day of 4th of July Weekend, throughout the weekend! Umm...yea...no rest for the newbie.
On the upside, I enjoyed my downtime after graduation with my family and my girlfriend (miss you babe).  I've been slowly putting things together and cleaning things in my new place.  My landlord is working with me to get things all set up properly. And, I'm also enjoying getting to know my fellow pediatricians and the my new staff/faculty.
Good things.
This is a new chapter in my life.  Now that I'm connected again, I'll be more diligent (maybe) in keeping up this blog.
Until next time, ;-).

Song of the day: "Pumped Up Kicks" - Foster The People

Ankle

So there I was, playing volleyball. I jump for a block @ the net, and next thing you know, I'm landing on the opponent blocker's foot (he had stuck it out past his side of the net, which might technically be a no-no), causing me to roll my right ankle.

Yea, its nice and swollen. By tomorrow, it'll be all black and blue-like...rotten banana-esque I should say.
And to make things worse, I spilled the ice water on my bed.

My night is really starting to shape up.

Song of the day: "Fixed" - Stars

Post post

Roughly a month to go before my match...chomping at the bit.

Some new things.
- joined 2 volleyball intramural leagues. Now I'm coming home with sore shoulders and backs and thighs, oh my. It's good tho. Can't complain. I still need to lose the Christmas and pre-christmas weight.
- Finished my ED rotation today. My eval reads: all excellent except for the final grade - high pass. The preceptor doesn't give honors grades. Grrr. If I didn't like him so much I would've slapped him right then and there. Well, maybe not. But still, that's just messed up!
- Going home tomorrow to see the 'rents and the doggies. That should be fun!
- My check engine light needs to be addressed soon before my next inspection this month. Either I need a new catalytic converter or an O2 sensor or some sort of spacer, which could mean the difference between paying by the 10s, 100s, or 1000s. Vehicle upkeep is such an expensive pain in the ass.
- Found out a few days ago that some of the programs I applied for had never received my Step 2 scores...well thanks for letting me know sooner, Pa! I hope that doesn't affect my application, tho.
- I have developed a new affinity for shortbread cookies.
- I heart Netflix. Period.
- There are plenty of very ripe bananas in my fridge that require my immediate attention. Looks like it's banana nut bread for the weekend.
- Hearing things from nice people that presents are forthcoming. AWW YEAH! Those nice people are the bestest! Hope to see them, and you, soon =).
- Starting a new rotation come Valentine's day: Pain and Palliative Medicine. Woo. Hoo. Quite the depressing change of scenery. I'm already missing my strokes and CHFs and Lacerations =(.
- Too many friends are getting married. No, I'm not in a rush to get married myself. I just have a limited budget and so I can't exactly splurge on wedding presents as I'd like to. I like weddings. Weddings are cool.

OK, I think that's enough for now.

Song of the day: "Sugarfoot" - Black Joe Lewis & The Honeybears

I'm still alive

Yes, yes.  I've been away too long.
But at the behest of certain readers out there (you know who you are), I have come back.
This month has been really busy and ridiculously hectic for me. 
So I will try to sum up some of my insights from this past month in my usual list fashion (don't you just love it?):

1.  I was on away rotation about a month ago in another state.  I will not name said state, only that it was very cold there and I had a ridiculously hard time getting comfortable there.  Needless to say, my performance suffered.  But it was to my benefit that I have learned several things that I really needed to work on before my internship year begins, all from this one rotation.  I can be thankful for that.
2.  As much as I enjoy driving, I'm happy to be home.  I was quite afraid I was going to get a DVT.
3.  I spent way too much money on presents this year (but they all deserved it).
4.  The lines this year were surprisingly short and bearable.  And I didn't run into traffic at all (Except in Maryland.  That just sucked).
5.  Once again, Sears comes through for me.  I <3 you!
6.  Interviews are starting to wear me down.  I hate taking time off from my current rotation so I can go for interviews.  I wish my school gave us a month off for these things.  And I'm not too keen on canceling any of them, but the more I look into it, I might just have to...ugh.
7.  Still freaking out about matching into these residency programs.
8.  The need to finish Thank You letters is mounting.  Like, a lot!  I have 3 schools to write for still!
9.  Thank goodness, I finished all my bill-paying today.  Now if the mailman will so kindly brave the blizzard, I will gladly hand him my posts.
10.  My laundry doesn't seem to want to end.  Where are all these dirty clothes coming from???
11.  Seems like I'll be doing some flying as well in the next month.  Miami and Houston, Yay!
12.  I need a personal assistant.  STAT!
13.  Wow, this blizzard is really coming down like mad.  This is seriously a white out!  Not really looking forward to shoveling all of this crap tomorrow.  But I suppose, it's a small price to pay for a snow day.
14.  Nothing beats mom's home cookin'! Yum.
15.  I seriously need to catch up on my TV.  I'm making a Christmas request for next year: DVR, please. 
16.  It's amazing to see that Barnes and Noble has a whole section dedicated to teen vampires.  What has the world come to? 
17.  It drives me up the wall when my school decides to do didactic teaching that is remotely relevant to our clinical learning.  Why they insist on doing some humanities course now instead of something more useful like, oh developing assessment and plans or even being a more coherent/cohesive presenter of patient information, is really beyond me.  My teeth hurt because of it. Wait, never mind. That's just the tin foil.
18.  I have eczema.  In my hands.  And I want to peel the tar out of them because they itch so much.  Nuff said.   
19.  And since I have hand eczema, I now have a new bane in my existence...the hospital hand sanitizer.  When your hands are dry and cracking, dousing them with alcohol gel does not a happy med student make.  
20.  Is it spring yet?

Dun.

Song of the day: "Jupiter Or The Moon" - Los Lobos

Ok, that's all I got for now.  I'm sure something amusing will

Good song

Don't you just hate it when you got a kick ass song on the radio on your way back home and you're uber pumped and you're singing the shit out of the tune when all of the sudden, you run out of air and you end up choking on your spit as you gasp desperately to catch your breath?  Ugh, now it hurts to cough, it hurts to breathe, and I am not the driving rock star I envisioned myself to be.

EPIC FAIL.

P.S. Still coughing.

Song of the day: "No Such Thing As Love" - Bleu

Self Dx

OK...after much research, I think I have found a diagnosis for my ailment.

Eczema. Pure and simple. Nummular eczema, I think, to be specific...with matching hand eczema to boot. What pisses me off is that I have no idea what specifically triggered this.
So, I think my dermatologist got my diagnosis wrong, but her prescribed treatment is appropriate for the diagnosis I came up with for myself. The sad part is, I don't know exactly how long I'm to be on the steroids. My skin is drying out: good for the itchy parts, but bad because my skin gets really thin, and it cracks and bleeds. Also, I think I'm having a pretty bad resurgence of acne because of the steroids as well.
The disease process also doesn't necessarily abate like an infection or an injury. I don't have a time frame for how long this condition will last. For now, I'm calling it sub-acute, considering it's been more than a month and it's somewhat under control.
In summary: I'm a poor med student with itchy, bad skin...who owns a car that's making concerning noises despite multiple, costly interventions...and lives out of a suitcase, currently looking for a job. And I'm single. And hungry.

Could be worse.

I could be constipated too.

Song of the day: "Dream About The Future" - The Apples In Stereo

Disappointed

My faith in the medical field is starting to wane. When it seemed like my condition was beginning to abate on a course of steroids, after the pills were finished, my malady began to surface once more. Frankly, I'm disappointed that the medication only masked my symptoms for a while. And I'm not entirely convinced that the doctor got my diagnosis exactly right.

I'm uncomfortable, I'm itchy, and I'm starting to look like Quasimodo...at least, my hands do, anyway.

And the timing couldn't be any more perfect. For the next 3 months, I will be doing a lot of traveling to different rotation sites and various residency interviews. At a time when personality, board scores, and looks are taken into consideration, I am deathly afraid that I might end up going into one of these interviews all covered in band aids and looking like a psychotic leper.

I need help. And I need it, fast. :(

Song of the day: "Repo Man" - Ray LaMontagne and the Pariah Dogs

The travails of a poor med student.

Today, I took my car in for a checkup. It's making funny noises, like a helicopter prop, especially when it hits 50+ mph and up. I thought it was the tires. I take it to the dealer and the mechanic figures that my tires need rotating..."simple, cheap fix" is what he says.
An hour later, he tells me, my right-sided tires (front and back) have nails in them, the back right tire is losing pressure because of an old tire patch that was placed there is no longer holding up, and that both tires are thinning on tread. He suggests new tires. Suddenly, my $24 fix has jumped up to $290. What am I gonna do? I came in to get my baby fixed and so, I must pay the price. Another hour and $290 later, the mechanic hands me my keys. So I go home. Not 5 minutes after I got on the highway, the damn noise starts again. Same noise. So now, I'm almost $300 poorer and nowhere near fixing my poor car. And I have to be on the road to Massachusetts by Saturday. Needless to say, I called the dealer back and complained. They said to bring the car in early in the morning tomorrow for a full checkup. I have a feeling that this time, the fix is gonna cost me more than $300. Lovely.
To make things worse, my Financial Aid Office just sent an email about a new tuition increase. Now, I have to pay $1161.50 more by the end of August. Where am I to get that scratch, you ask? No choice but to increase my loan. Again. What's a few thousand more in the grand scheme of things? I'm already 150K+ in the hole. FML.

Song of the day: "Numbers Don't Lie" - The Mynabirds

Griping

I think all in all, today was a fairly productive day.

1. Finished and e-filed my taxes, both federal and state, for the most part, free.
2. Finished a quiz on a few topics discussed this week in my Ob-Gyn rotation. Did well.
3. Payed a few medical bills. Not too bad.
4. Finished and filed my 2010-2011 FAFSA (financial aid) form. Hopefully I get my refund check very soon.
5. Printed out next week's Ob-Gyn articles (in the plural sense - like 7 of them). So far, only read a fraction of one.

So why the suggestive title on this blog?
Well, I'm kinda pissed. I'm pissed at people talking about me behind my back.
Case in point: this neighbor of ours who came by today. I'm doing items 1-5 listed above while he chatted up my brother-in-law (BIL) who was installing the new sliding doors for the porch. So this guy was all praise and fluff about how my BIL put up the new doors (which BIL did - it was a damn good job). So neighbor starts talking about how he thought BIL couldn't do it all by himself, that he would've come had BIL asked for help. Well, BIL already asked my dad for help, but called him off @ noon because I was able to give a hand a little bit (didn't tear up the wall, but did help remove the old window, helped hoist and level the new doors, and removed old nails/scrap wood cleanup, all after picking up BIL's son from a school retreat an hour away). So why so pissed, you ask? Well, said neighbor just happen to inquire if I helped or rather, I should say insinuated that I didn't help in this whole project. Mind you, I'm sitting by the counter clearly listening to all of this crap going on.
K, let's put things straight here:
1. I don't like manual labor. Never have. And let's face it, who does? That doesn't mean I'm afraid to get my hands dirty, far from it. I've done a good deal of manual labor in my day. So I'm no stranger to work.
2. If somebody asks for my help or a favor from me, if I can do it, I do it, to the best of my abilities.
3. I'm not a mind reader. I don't care what anybody says about taking initiative. As far as I'm concerned, initiative comes from experience, which means having prior knowledge of the task at hand. If I don't know the task, then I hang back and wait for orders.

So...
Firstly, I didn't know BIL was installing the new doors this weekend (I was actually passed out yesterday and was not given any prior notice nor was asked to help in the project).
Secondly, I was given a task this morning to pick up BIL's son, which I did, and even bought donuts since I saw that the project was started this morning, and that everybody would be working hard.
Thirdly, Who the fuck does this neighbor think he is, criticizing me? Why would he talk shit about me especially in front of BIL, unless BIL has already talked shit about me in front of neighbor, giving him precedence?
Fourthly, I had hoped that if BIL had any problems about me, that he'd come to me and talk to me about it so I can address it.
Fifthly, I don't know how to emphasize this enough: Given my current state, I may not look busy, but trust me, being in med school is the definition of busy. And it takes a lot out of you, both mentally and physically. You wake up at 6am to follow doctors and patients, you do all this sucking up and other extraneous crap so you can get a good rec letter/secure a spot for next year, and in the evening, do some more studying, not just for the current subject, but also prepare for boards, usually until midnight or so, all so you don't end up looking foolish if some doctor were to pimp you on some random medical question the next day. Oh, don't forget the ever looming pressure of having somebody's life in your hands plus the 200K+ student debt that you've acquired in the past 4 years. So forgive me, if once in a while I decide to crash.
I wish I could take this Neighbor of ours and stick him in our med school shoes, just so he'd know the shit we have to go through. He can't fault us for not having tried their menial jobs; most of us had them before we started med school.

Bottom line:
1. If you want my help, then ask. I'm not a mind reader.
2. Don't talk shit about me behind my back. If you got a problem about me, let me know.

Song of the day: "Shout" - Disturbed (Tears For Fears cover)

2 down, 4 more to go

5 days of sleep depravation, and week 2 of surgery rotation is over. Remember when I said that most of the residents in surg are douches, at the beginning of this week, I thought, yea...that's about right. Today, however, proved to be the exception to the rule. The chief resident, who was supposed to be gunning for me, turns out to be not so bad...he can joke around, despite being blunt most of the time. He even took a little bit of time to teach us something today after a colostomy reversal case. On the flip side, one of the 4th year residents, who I thought was really nice, was somewhat feisty today...perhaps because she's on call tonight and there's supposed to be this huge blizzard coming to our area that's gonna snow trap us all by tomorrow. Anyhoo, I was getting a history on a new ER admit, and I wrote down something stupid that the patient said (I'd rather not repeat it...it was too embarassing, and it was something I knew was a medical impossibility, yet I continued to document, none the less). Well, I certainly looked dumb when I mentioned it to my resident, for which she scolded me for it...I deserved it I suppose. But then she smacked me in the arm...something I don't think higher ups do to their subordinates, unless they were totally being familiar. And I'm not sure if she was trying to go for that effect to make me feel better. So I felt bad, then I got confused...which is not a good combination to go with sleep deprivation. Luckily, there was more work to be done and less time being a dolt.

BTW. New pet peeve: poor medical historians. Cantstandya!

So, by 6pm, we gave our reports, said our goodbyes, and changed out of our scrubs. Wouldn't you know it, the Scrub dispenser machine decides to get snippy with me and takes my scrubs without giving me back my credit (FYI scrub machines only give you new scrubs if you have credit, and you only get credit if you give back your used scrubs). So I was stuck in the locker room for another hour, waiting for housekeeping to give me a new pair to load, so I can get credit back. On the bright side, I used that time practicing one-handed surgical ties. Finally, with my scrub credit replenished, I head out to the call room to retrieve the rest of my effects. I round the corner and all of the sudden, the 2nd year surgical resident pops out of hiding, screaming bloody murder. I nearly poop my pants in fright and he's rolling on the floor laughing his brains out. He got me good...
So, overall, a fun-loving bunch. They definitely have their bad sides, but this week, they were human beings. Fairly nice ones, I might say.

Since I haven't kept up with this week's daily blogging, I'm opting to list the surgical procedures I saw this week:
1. Laparoscopic appendectomy
2. Femoral-to-popliteal artery graft bypass
3. Hemicolectomy + Hartmann's procedure
4. Groin abscess incision and drainage
5. Reverse Colostomy (sigmoid-rectum end-to-end anastamosis)
6. Laparoscopic Roux-en-Y gastric bypass

Next week, Anesthesiology. Should be interesting.

P.S. For those who are keeping score, I never did give the thyroid CA presentation, but I did learn a lot from the readings.

Song of the day: "Heaven When We're Home" - The Wailin' Jennys

Stating the obvious

Normally I have a very prodigious amount of patience for patients. I'll sit there and shoot the shit with them even though there are time constraints with their office visits. The stories they tell are amazing and everyone of them, priceless. The patients themselves seem to appreciate the banter and it makes their visit a little less stressful. Today, however, I could feel my blood pressure rapidly reaching critical, because of them.

How, you ask, did they manage to get under my usually tough outer shell?

4 words: "Why aren't you married?"

It's all together sad when all I can say was "I wish I knew..."

I must've been asked this at least a dozen times before quitting time today. I was clenching my teeth so much, I think I developed TMJ disease after all of that nonsense. Sometimes the questioning doesn't end there. Some patients like to probe a little more and make mindless suggestions like "maybe you should try those internet sites" or "I got a niece that would be perfect for you."

Sometimes I think that the doctors that precept my rotation judge me on my bachelorhood as well. They always seem so surprised after they ask when I tell them my age and that I'm single. It's even worse when there are other people around me who are my age or younger and they are already married and/or have kids of their own. Somehow, the comparisons are made automatically, but in the most "tactful" of senses, of course.

Then they end with, "Well, you're going to be a doctor soon. You'll find the right one, eventually."

It's quite demoralizing, really. It's gotten so bad that at one point, I was compelled to lie about my age just so I can dodge their judgmental questions. To me, it sounds as if they are implying my becoming a doctor is the only redeeming quality and selling point at this point in my life.

Can't I have at least a tiny iota of slack on this subject? Yes, I am getting older, but the church ain't goin' nowhere, either. And if I knew why I'm still single, we wouldn't be having this conversation in the first place anyways. I'm not that lucky like the rest of America's wedded sons and daughters are, but that doesn't mean that I'm broken. I'm 29 and single...and there's nothing wrong with that.

Give it a rest. Get a life and move on.

Song of the day: "You Don't Know Me" - Ben Folds feat. Regina Spektor

Jersey Shore bar etiquette

In no particular order:

10. My name is NOT Rolex. I hate it when you think I'm the designated time keeper. It is quite annoying when you pick me out of a crowd to ALWAYS give you the time of day. This may sound a bit childish but, I think it's time you asked somebody else.

9. Please do not force your small talk on me. I understand that it is an awkward situation, being in a place where there are lots of strangers, but don't make it any worse by melting my brain with your idiotic prattle. If you really want to talk, fine, but you better have ammunition. Don't ask me about the weather, time, or whatever happened to that guy in high school that you had a crush on. I don't care.

8. I don't need help getting drunk. I know how to do it, and I can do it pretty well. Don't force me to chug my beer or buy another shot. They're expensive enough as it is. I know my limit and if I say no on the drinks, that usually means that we must stop for the time being...unless you want an ugly, smelly, messy scene where I violently puke on you and your girlfriend.

7. No drama in the bar! Put the white trash attitude and dirty laundry away. No need to be showing any of that in public. That's what "Cops" and "Jerry Springer" are for.

6. Don't insult the DD. They're there to save your ass.

5. Don't lecture me on what drink to get. As far as I'm concerned, the "cheap" stuff is just as liable to get me drunk as your imported swill. I don't need pretentious pricks who don't know shit from shinola telling me that their vodka is better than mine. Like you can really tell the difference.

4. IF YOU'RE SICK, STAY THE FUCK HOME!!! I DON'T WANT TO DIE LIKE YOU!!

3. Respect the bathroom line! Not obeying this most important queue may be grounds for kicking your ass.

2. Know your place in the bar. Wait for your server, know your drink, tip them well, and don't cut the line. Failure to comply is also grounds for kicking your ass.

1. If you'll be my friend, I'll be yours. Show some love.