Burning bridges

It's relatively possible to forget even for a bit, the things that went wrong in your life when you're occupied.  You go to work, you're immersed in busy stuff, you fill your hours with charts and projects and facts and all sorts of information because it is asked of you...and despite the materials' dryness or difficulty or monotony, you plod on through, and before you know it, it's quitting time.  That's when you realized that the loud side of your brain, that nagging part that constantly prods, questions, shouts, needles you into hashing and rehashing all that crap that happened to you in the past...has been silent all this time.  And you say to yourself "thank God for the work."
The work this whole 3rd year has been very good for me.  It can be overwhelming at times, but it has kept me occupied and on track on a "more or less" even keel.  I can honestly say that I've had no time to cry about spilled milk.  When the last break up happened last year, I had a severely emotional breakdown that night, followed by a day of being a zombie.  It was difficult to concentrate on the work, but I decided to put the work to good use, and lo and behold, I got through that patch...not as well as I would have liked, but under the circumstances, I could've been a lot more worse off.
Fast forward to tonight.  I'm checking FB when I come across somebody who is in acquaintance with the ex. Feeling the need to satisfy my curiosity, I click on and follow the links to her. To my surprise, I can't fully access her FB page. It seems that either I'm blocked or have been removed from her list.
I can't say that I didn't expect it.  Take for instance after she broke up with me, I erased her phone number from my mobile. So why not her doing the same to me on FB? I was in shock...and a little bit confused, like "how dare you un-friend me?"-type of confused. OK, so maybe "insulted" is a more accurate term for this. I take a breath, compose myself, and slowly come back to my senses. I close FB and after taking a minute to myself, I slowly felt a heavy sense of sadness, as if I had crossed a bridge and then burned it.  Then more feelings of regret started creeping in and that loud part of my brain all of the sudden, woke up from its nap and is not wasting time at all with niceties, but rather is laying it on plenty thick on me.  "Did I do everything in my power to have prevented it? What did I do to her to make her go away? What did she see in that douche?"
So in my traditional fashion, I go back to the movies and find the appropriate quote for such an occasion, and sure enough...I find it.

"You know what's the worst thing about somebody breaking up with you? It's when you remember how little you thought about the people you broke up with and you realize that is how little they're thinking of you."           - (Jesse) Before Sunrise

Fuck it.
I'm going to bed.

Song of the day: "Miss Misery" - Elliott Smith